


Through all the tears and all the lies

by belmanoir



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Body Image, F/F, Internalized Misogyny, Kayfabe Compliant, sad masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 04:02:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9217988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belmanoir/pseuds/belmanoir
Summary: Set after Nattie and Nikki's confrontation on the 1/3/17 episode of Smackdown. Nattie jerks off in her dressing room and thinks about Nikki.Nattie wiped her eyes, scowling at the dressing room mirror.Look at yourself. You’re a Hart. You’re better than this. Crying from a forearm to the jaw? Bret would have a field day on Twitter if he saw this.But the stupid tears kept leaking out her eyes as she stripped off her gear. She looked at her body in the mirror. Her breasts were just as big as Nikki Bella’s, but no one made a fuss about them.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a kayfabe story but I did include some elements from _Total Divas_ , which to me occupies a shadowy gray area in the kayfabe/shoot dichotomy. Sorry TJ!

Nattie wiped her eyes, scowling at the dressing room mirror. _Look at yourself. You’re a Hart. You’re better than this. Crying from a forearm to the jaw? Bret would have a field day on Twitter if he saw this._ But the stupid tears kept leaking out her eyes as she stripped off her gear. She looked at her body in the mirror. Her breasts were just as big as Nikki Bella’s, but no one made a fuss about them. Why weren’t they as good? Why wasn’t she as good? Why wasn’t she pretty?

Her nipples started tingling, though. Just from being looked at. _Fine, you needy bitches, let’s see if you can make me feel better._ She picked her breasts up in her hands, liking the way they looked pressed together. Should she go back to two-piece gear? She palmed her nipples until it started to feel good, and let one of her hands drift south.

Suddenly she thought of Nikki. Ugh, she was trying to masturbate, why did she have to go over this argument again? _Stop thinking about it._ But imaginary Nikki stuck out her lower lip in that dismissive way she had. _You’re an adult, for God’s sake, stop pouting,_ Nattie thought at her.

 _If you think I’m beautiful, you should have just said so,_ imaginary Nikki said.

Nattie’s heart pounded. _I don’t think you’re beautiful, Nikki. Oh my God, you’re so full of yourself. I mean, obviously you’re beautiful, but I don’t think so in a_ personal _way._

_“Shut up, Nattie,” Nikki says. “I get it. Sexual frustration is the worst. We all know TJ doesn’t pay you enough attention physically.”_

_“That’s not fair, I just don’t get to see TJ as often as I want to. We have a great sexual relationship. We’re very intimate together—”_

_Nikki rolls her eyes and moves closer, reaching for Nattie as if of course the solution to being sexually frustrated is just—have sex! Problem solved!_

_Nattie jumps back. “I’m **married.”** Silently, she adds, **Not that you gave enough of a shit to come to the wedding.**_

_Nikki flips her hair. “Well, I’m not. And you keep telling me I never will be, so shut up and let me give you a blowjob.”_

_“Oh my God, Nikki, you don’t call it a blowjob on a woman.”_

_But it’s too late. Nikki is going down on her, still wearing that dumb baseball cap. Her hands curve around Nattie’s thighs, a firm grip Nattie is very, very familiar with._

_Nikki is so good at this. Her tongue surges against Nattie’s clit. Nattie’s going to explode. “Why do you know how to do that?”_

_“You don’t know everything about me, Nattie.” Nikki darts a glare upwards. “You just think you do.” She ducks her head again. All Nattie can really see is that river of shining dark hair._

_“Nikki—no, don’t stop, just listen, I have to tell you something. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean it—”_

Nattie came, a short but intense orgasm.

She stared at herself in the mirror. Breathing hard, flushed, bloodshot eyes. Still not pretty. 

It didn’t mean anything. It was just sex. What you thought about during sex had nothing to do with who you were as a person. Like if she fantasized about pirates, it didn’t mean she actually wanted to be kidnapped by a guy in a ruffly shirt. Not that Fandango wasn’t cute, she just—

 _You’re blathering, Nattie. Get a grip._

She made a list of steps to get to bed as early as possible and be well-rested: makeup remover. Ice her jaw. And her eyes, while she was at it, so they wouldn’t be puffy. Shower cap. Shower. Moisturize. Drive to the hotel. Glass of red wine. Quick FaceTime with TJ and the cats. Bed.

She had to be on her A-game for the live event tomorrow, so she could kick Nikki’s pert little ass.


End file.
